Happy Fourth of July

That time of year has arrived again, that special time where we celebrate our nation's birth, marvel in its magnificence, and pay tribute to those who laid its foundation. As always, there are many events in your local community where you can revel in America's greatness with your fellow citizens, and such events should be attended and respected appropriately. If, however, you notice that "The Star-Spangled Banner" is playing particularly loudly this year, or that the glorious yet DOT-approved red, white, and blue fireworks are unusually noisy, please understand that the racket is necessary to drown out the sound and terrible vibration of John Locke, Benjamin Franklin, John Hancock, Samuel Adams, Patrick Henry, Thomas Paine, hundreds of other assorted patriots, 39 dead presidents, Bobby Kennedy, 1,197,238 dead soldiers since the Revolutionary War, and the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. spinning in their graves like nuclear-powered turbines.

Happy Fourth!!! War rocks!!! So does poverty!!!