And many a word at random spoken #2 – Capps Corner, Texas

Capps Corner, Texas

"Jerry, good Lord, look at that mess you're bringin in!"

The dust from Jerry's boots came back into the store with him, so he dragged his feet a couple times through the old, ragged piece of carpet they used as a doormat. He had stood outside for a little more than an hour, just to stretch his legs. People still passed through sometimes, on their way from Nocona, or drivin back down towards Saint Jo. He hadn't seen anyone yet today, but it was a hot day, bad for drivin anywhere. The August heat was finally kickin in, it was hot as hell for days now. He didn't think he would see anybody today, but he would hold out til dusk at least. Betty called him a fool for sittin up there everyday, hardly a customer in sight, but he had run the fillin station for almost forty years and he wasn't gonna give it up. His daddy never gave up his farm, even when the Depression hit. He wasn't ready to give up yet. He eyed the thermometer by the front window as the door closed behind him. It was 98 degrees in the shade at 3:41 PM, August 11th, 1985.

Most days, he was glad for Loretta's company, but this heat made her nasty sometimes. She looked at him cross with her squatty eyes, her big, fat cheeks red with sweat. "Hell, I'll sweep the rest up later," he said, expectin her to fuss over the dirt some more. "It don't matter."

"Alright. Come on in and get you a Coke, sit down and cool off."

He walked over to the cooler to do like she suggested. Loretta's daughter had just went off to college, so Jerry knew she had too much time on her hands. She had always come by three or four times a week to talk about what her girl was up to, or to complain about her sorry ass husband who didn't even call no more. He always told her it don't matter, Darrell had been no good, but she ought to get married again for her daughter's sake. Loretta kinda snorted and started down her beady eyes at him whenever he said that. "I swear, Jerry, a man ain't all that matters you know," she always said, and her look would soften into somethin like pity after a minute.

It used to be that a lot of folks came by and visited, but there wasn't many folks left of Capps Corner to come visit anymore. A lot of his old friends had passed, he bet there wasn't a hundred people even left. He remembered the days when the station was center of town, what little town they got, when everybody just had to stop by and say hello. He looked after Miss Edna's sons while she drove her crops to market, he patched up tires and filled radiators and did a hundred things that made him more than an old man holdin down a stool. Betty wanted to move to Gainsville, where their son Edgar lived with his family. Edgar offered to let them live in his house, it was big enough, and Betty wanted to be with her grandchildren so much. It sounded alright, they said he could even bring his old recliner with him, but he wasn't sure about all that. He knew a man took care of himself until he fell down doin it.

"Well, Jerry, I took up your time enough today, I need to be gettin home. Leanne is supposed to call me from school today, I hate to miss her."

"Alright Loretta, we'll seeya later, take care of yourself in his heat now." He watched as the chubby woman wandered out to her old Ford pickup and weighed down the driver's seat behind her. She drove off not too fast, but still dust shot up from the dry ground as she left. It took a minute for him to see that somebody was pullin into the station after her.

Jerry rushed out to meet them as fast as he could, even as his hip popped. "How you doin, folks, what can I do for ya?"

A young, sweet faced girl rolled down the passenger window of her big, wood panel station wagon. She couldn't have been more than 25, but Jerry saw her husband on the driver's side, and a toddler in the back seat. "We just need to fill up," she said with a pretty but shy smile.

"Oh sure, let me do that for you folks," but the girl's husband had already gotten out of the car, a tall, corn fed lookin boy.

"Thanks mister, but I will do it. Here's the money for you."

Jerry took the crumpled bill in his hand. He noticed that the boy was not wearin a ring. "Can I get you a Coke or somethin?"

"Naw, it'll just make her have to pee," the boy said, and his wife giggled a little and blushed.

"Where y'all headed?"

"We're goin to see my sister in Whitesboro. It sounds like a wide place in the road, but we've never been there," said the girl. She looked like she didn't wanna be bothered with her sister or Whitesboro.

"Do y'all need directions? Whitesboro is only a little ways from here, probly an hour."

"Naw, I got a map in here, we know it's just down 677 then you get on 82. Thanks though," the boy replied, swellin up his chest a little.

"Well, okay, then," said Jerry, "I'm fixin to go inside I guess, but let me know if you need anything else. I'll bring yer change to you." He coughed, and wiped the sweat off his brow with an old rag from his back pocket.

"Oh, no, mister, Billy will come inside and get it. We don't need nothin. You don't have to mess around in this heat for us!" exclaimed the girl helpfully. Jerry looked over at Billy, this young fool was named, and saw his face soften. Jerry had rather he kept puffin his chest up than look around goddam feelin sorry for somebody.

"Okay, well I'm right inside. Thanks for your business folks."

Jerry went inside, half brushed his boots off on the old rug again, and sat down on his stool behind the counter. Billy's dumb ass tried so hard to fill up the tank without havin to get back change that he spilt gas all over the ground.

Still, they got almost all their money's worth, and after Billy folded himself up behind the wheel again, they drove off, that sweet, pretty girl wavin out the window.

Jerry sat there starin at the empty spot they'd left at the pump. When he saw another car drive by down the road, he found himself cryin for no good reason at all.

* * * * *

Betty was putting fried chicken on the table as Jerry walked in the front door.

"Wipe off your feet," she said, with the practiced kindness of an old Texas wife.

Jerry did so, and came to sit down at the table. As Betty poured him a glass of iced tea, she thought his eyes looked puffy, but she didn't mention it. She could tell the station had been empty today, and she stopped herself from begging him to give it up again.

"Honey, I think maybe we should talk to Edgar about going down there to Gainsville," he said a little firmly.

"Oh, really? I think that's wonderful, Jerry. I just know you will love being down there."

* * * * *

Betty sat on the porch with Edgar after dinner. She hated that he was drinking a beer out where everyone in the neighborhood could see, but she kept quiet. Herself, she was perfectly happy sipping on Sissy's iced tea. She had asked Jerry to sit with them, but instead he shuffled off to their room and sat down in that awful brown recliner. It was all she could do to even get him to come to dinner some nights.

"Daddy talked to that fat woman, what's her name, from Capps Corner today. You know, the one that helped y'all move. I guess y'all miss it down there, huh?" said her son, wiping a spilled sip of beer off his shirt.

"Oh, I sure do. We knew a lot of good folks down there," said Betty, smiling her best. "Sure do miss it."

"I guess Daddy misses it too. I don't think he likes it much here."

Her son's sadness reached her. "Now, honey, it's not that. Of course we want to be here with our family, we love y'all. Your daddy will be fine. He's proud. All he ever did is run that station," she said, and she found herself tense again. "He doesn't know what to do with himself now is all." Betty thought of Jerry's father, how he always talked about a man working hard, how that's what made a man. She sipped her tea without meaning it, gripping the glass unconsciously.

"Maybe so," Edgar said, but he still looked like a scolded child. "Did y'all decide what to do with it, anyway?"

Betty listened as her voice said, "You know, I don't care one bit if somebody tears that damn thing down board by board."